31). Big Bad Bold Beautiful Bitch!

Seriously people.....

Exposing yourself has a new meaning to me today right now right this Gosh Darn funny, funny moment.

My, Yogi is on the computer and on the phone with me at the same time, she's so Killing my head!
Killing my head I tell you...
She's laughing that funny evil laugh that I know so well.
I can't even get into my car and kick her butt.
Honestly... she's pulling a huge FUNNY on me today and I'm not liking it very much!

She's in Alabama right now and she's telling me she's going to post some pictures of me in a Bikini.. How could she!!!!!!!!!

How can I get my hands around her throat right this minute.... only kidding!!!!
Does, she not know???
Does, she not know that I'm one of those people.---THAT I HAVE----

( I see myself differently Disease).........

I'm skinny in my mind!........ But we all know otherwise!

If you could see me having the hugest belly laugh people right at this moment you would be on the floor laughing..... I can't believe how funny she is.......

Tina.......... don't you dare! don't you dare!

Seriously,
I obviously see myself in a different light.
I know I'm damn beautiful,
I know I'm damn sexy,
I know I'm damn sassy,
I know I'm a huge Brat with a capitol B.
I know that I'm wild and crazy.
I know I'm a Big Bold
Beautiful Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOSH..... I'm going to pee my pants in a minute from laughter!

Listen to this.
Tina and I went to the Eagle's club one night back in the day... We were singing Karaokee and having the time of our lives just being wild and crazy girlfriends. She was my ex boyfriends girlfriend and I just loved her..... totally!
She is way funny and silly like me.

But you have to understand we looked good. We were rocking the house....
Tina and I were just having fun and people were listening to us sing and clapping after we sang, we felt like we were Rock Stars I swear!
At least I did!!!! ha! ha! ha!

We would have the greatest time truly entertaining the crowd.
She was in the Band with Jim and singing and Steve and I would go see her and Jim and Debbie and that guy that looked like Prince, I foget his name, but I sure could appreciate how he got down on the guitar!
....... ohhhhh it was a fun fun time in life!!!!!

So---- Tina and I get done singing.......
We both go to the ladies room we are just cracking up while I was in the one stall and Tina was in the other stall...
I closed the door and said something to the effect that "------- I'm such a Big, Bold, Bad Beautiful Big Bitch", or something like that..... Well, when I came out of the stall to go and wash my hands,
This BIG Bad, Big Bitch is looking at me...

She say's ".... Did you just call me a Bitch"? I started cracking up! I said, oh NO, I was talking about ME.... She really had that look of she wanted to start a fight. So I said, How can I call you a Bitch when I did not even know you were in the bathroom. I was talking to my Girlfriend in the next Stall..
This Big Bitch---still had this evil look.. I mean nasty....
I thought I was going to see stars any minute....
That was going to be my ROCK STAR moment.....
But I somehow convinced her that I really was talking about me.

Well, we ended up leaving the ladies room and no one was hurt..... Tina just cracked up and said, " Girlfriend, ONLY YOU!"

Well, years after that Tina and I would still say the Big Bad, Bold, Beautiful Bitch stuff and just laugh and laugh and laugh..... She to this day tells me I got LUCKY!

So years later........ I'm going to Las Vegas with my Mom. We are at the Airport that's not even close to the town I live in... My Mom and I were both so excited to be taking a Mother Daughter trip together. It was for the weekend, and it was going to be just so fun...

We get our boarding passes, we walk the tarmack and get on the plane. Who's on that plane with My Mom and I.......

You guessed it...
That Big Bad Bold Bitch.......... with her Mother!
She was there the night that bathroom situation went down...... Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the whole plane went silent!
Then she actually gave me the biggest smile and I cracked up!
She said, "Hey Bitch..... Good Luck in Vegas!"
It was a moment that was just too funny...... Small world I'm telling you!

See how little things in life are connected..... Even if it by a bikini string..!

69 degrees of seperation?
This world is smaller than we think!!!!

You never know who you will run into and where...... I seem to run into some pretty interesting people! Even if it's far from home!

I just don't want to see myself posted in a bikini anywhere on a post... So if she does post it people.... You have been warned! Close your eyes and don't look if you love me! LOL LOL

I'm honestly ....... sinking into the seat of this chair thinking how could she do this to me?
She's loving every minute of it too! ooohhhhhh she's such a funny bad girlfriend!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh grrrrrrrrrrrr I'm grinding me teeth trying to just accept that.... She's pulling a Funny and I don't think it's funny! but it really is... what ever! right.... We are who we are. I love me and that's all that matters.....

I'm going to kiss myself right now on my arm! LOL LOL LOL
Bikini body or not!

I'm going to shake what my Momma gave me Damn it! Anytime and anywhere I want!

That's my crazy story of the day and I'm sticking to it!

© Kiki LaFleur-Wilson