21). The Phone calls.......

The first phone call was from Michelle.... She wanted to come over and use my phone. She had to go to court for something and did not want her husband to know so she came and used my phone. She was all worried so I let her hold the Rosary my sister had just given me the day before.

Michelle left and I climbed up on my Bed and hung the Rosary on a little nail that was there from a previous picture that I had moved to some other spot. Well, as soon as I hung the Rosary on the little nail and had one leg off the bed on the ground the telephone rang. It was my Mom.... In a really strange voice she said, " Kathy, get here right now"... I said, Okay Mom.... I did not even ask one question..... Then I picked up the phone to call my Mother in Law next door to see if I could use my brother in law's Truck again because it was still snowing and I knew my car would not start with any sort of wetness in the air. So when I dialed my Mother in laws number next door, and the phone rang..... I heard my Mom say hello... I freaked out and said, I'm sorry Mom, I meant to call My mother in law next door to see if I could use Tim's truck. She then said, " Get here Kathy, Sherry died lastnight".......... I never in my life screamed so hard..... I was doing circles in my bedroom trying to get dressed, and when I did find those purple LLBean cozy sweats I put my right foot into the leg and there was so much force and fear and adrenalin I put my foot right thru the fabric. I threw them across the room and looked for something else to throw on in a huge hurry, I picked up the phone and then dialed the correct number for my Mother in Law and when she answerd I was sobbing so hard she could not understand me, I just kept saying, I need to use Tim's truck.. My Mom called and said, my sister died. She said......... NO.......... I almost died at that moment too. I could not believe it... But she was saving my life, she did not want me to drive in my hysterical condition....... I called several people to get me to my Mom's and no one answered.... I then called my girlfriend Judy and she said she could not take me but her husband Daryl could if I paid him...... I said, what ever it takes I need to get there.... I could not believe I had to pay someone to take me to my Mother's.... I remember when his little red truck pulled up in my driveway to come and get me, I could barely speak and I just got into the car and stared out the passenger window the whole way to my Mom's.... I only gave him the directions to get to my Parents..... I could not utter a word, I was so mad at the world and I took it out on him big time.. I just remember me staring out of the passenger window. Wishing it was not him driving me, how in the world did I have to pay someone to do this for me.... It was like a life and death situation.. I did pay him some money to take me, I don't know how much but I remember the money exchange... I remember my eyes were already swollen shut from the massive tears of my mothers very surprising, very sad news.... I could not even understand how she could be dead..... I just saw her the day before and she gave me a Rosary....... It's all such a blurr.................... I mean a blurr....... I don't remember the funeral, I don't remember the people there, I don't remember anything except that scary guy Mike that tried to get me alone and tell me what happened.... He tried to tell me what was happening in some little room in the funeral home and when I told him I could not talk to him one more minute, I walked out into the funeral home to meet my parents to go to lunch break or what ever it was, and...... everyone was gone...... Just me and that scary guy Mike and my Sister..................... I did not feel very safe in the funeral home. How could that scary person be there, what did he do..... why did he want to talk to me, I could not even understand what he was saying I was in such Grief....................... Total Unbelievable True knock me out Grief........
Seeing my Parents so devastated, seeing her daughter so devastated, seeing her ex- husband so devastated, seeing my brothers so devastated oh My Goodness....... The pain could be felt around the world I'm sure! She was only 33.... Cardiac Arrest..... They tried to save her but when they gave her lidocaine to start her heart again, it beat so fast it was just too much..... I say she died of a broken heart.... a huge broken heart!

So I lost my Grandmother in 1993, six weeks later my Grandfather in 1993, and 9 months after that my sister....... and then 4 months after that my best friend Genette......... Everyone I loved so dearly....... Gone..............
I was the last one to talk to my Grandma..... She said she loved me those were her last words
I was the last one to see my Grandpa, he said I was trying to kill him.....for spending so much on groceries..
I was the last one to hug my sister and tell her I loved her and my last words to her were see ya later Girlfriend.... She was my sister, and my girlfriend.....
I was the last one to speak with Genette when I told her to let go and go to heaven and be best friends with my sister as she was laying in her Hospice bed so thin...... So thin.... I can't even explain it...... Life for me stood still................. I mean, I was just so sad to see my parents hurting so much, My Dad actually drove around looking for Mike with a gun in his car. I know if he were to ever find Mike, he was going to kill him. I had to hold that in....... I had to tell no one....... Grief....... it's a terrible thing. No child wants to see their parents pain like that.... I'll never forget........ And then something wild happened............. Something very, very wild...................

© Kiki LaFleur-Wilson